Zeteo. Wed. April 29, 2026.
According to a report Tuesday from the Bulwark, which the administration tried to devalue by giving it to Fox as an “exclusive,” Trump’s face will soon appear on some US passports – supposedly to “commemorate” America’s 250th anniversary, and not just our president’s immense love for himself.
It’s an absurd development, but somehow not even a surprise: Trump cultists are slapping his name and likeness on everything they can.
There’s the “Donald J. Trump Institute of Peace” in Washington, as well as the “Donald J. Trump and John F. Kennedy Memorial Center for the Performing Arts.” Republicans in Florida passed a bill to rebrand the airport in Palm Beach, home to Trump’s Mar-a-Lago club, the “President Donald J. Trump International Airport.” They made a “President Donald J. Trump Blvd.” in Palm Beach, too.
The National Park Service is putting Trump’s face on park passes, alongside George Washington. Please be aware: your pass will be voided if you cover Trump’s mug with a sticker.
The administration is planning to print Trump’s signature on paper currency. The treasury helpfully noted that this would be “the first time in history … a sitting president” had been so featured, while claiming it was in “honor of the 250th anniversary of the United States of America.”
Trump also wants to put his face on $1 coins. That would make him the first living president to have his likeness on US currency, which makes sense, given it has been against the law since 1866. The administration is also prepared to put Trump’s face on extra-large commemorative gold coins – again, supposedly to celebrate America’s 250th birthday.
Republicans in Congress have bills to rename the DC Metro the “Trump Train,” to put his face on the $100 bill, and to put his face on a new $250 bill.
GOP lawmakers have a bill to carve Trump’s face onto Mount Rushmore, and another to rename Dulles airport in Virginia. Trump has reportedly requested that Penn Station in New York be named for him, too.
Trump’s cult of personality isn’t only focused on putting his name and image everywhere. It is deeply invested in making him feel good about himself, with no expense spared.
The administration put on a military parade for Trump’s birthday last year. Team Trump claimed – of course – the embarrassing spectacle was meant to honor the US Army’s 250th birthday, but as you would expect, behind closed doors, officials called it “Donald Trump’s birthday parade.” It cost $30 million.
The Department of Homeland Security spent $220 million on ads ostensibly designed to encourage immigrants to flee the US, in which then-Secretary Kristi Noem effusively thanked the president for his mass-deportation policies.
Noem said from the get-go these ads were Trump’s idea, relaying that the president told her: “I want you to thank me. I want you to thank me for closing the border.” Somehow, a year later, she ended up fired after daring to tell Congress that Trump approved the ads. Whoops!
You can’t put a price on such displays of loyalty: Trump frequently holds televised meetings in which Cabinet officials and other senior staffers take turns offering gratuitous, competitive praise.
Trump’s cult is also carrying out a vast effort to prosecute and punish his enemies on the flimsiest of bases – and it’s only ramping up after the president fired Attorney General Pam Bondi for failing to put his enemies in jail.
On Tuesday, his Department of Justice unveiled its second ridiculous effort to prosecute former FBI Director Jim Comey, this time for posting an image of seashells arranged to say “86 47.”
In restaurant parlance, “86” means an item is no longer available. Trump is the 47th president. The DOJ claimed the message was “a threat to kill the president,” even after Comey deleted it, apologized, and said, “I didn’t realize some folks associate those numbers with violence. It never occurred to me but I oppose violence of any kind so I took the post down.”
It remains to be seen whether Trump’s DOJ will prosecute far-right influencer Jack Posobiec, who’s been part of the Trump Pentagon’s press corps, for posting “86 46” during Joe Biden’s presidency.
Trump’s Federal Communications Commission, meanwhile, is attempting to punish ABC for refusing to accede to the president’s demand that it fire Jimmy Kimmel, based on a willful misreading of a joke last week about Trump’s age and health.
On Tuesday, the FCC ordered ABC’s network stations to file for broadcast license renewals within 30 days.
Because our president hopes to rule like Kim Jong Un, it makes sense that he targets comedians. We aren’t supposed to laugh at Donald Trump. We are meant to laugh with him and – more importantly – love him, as he loves himself.
